This verse could not be more true in my life. As the season changes from Summer to Fall, my spiritual seasons are changing too. Not in a profound way necessarily, but in way that is certainly getting my attention. As I sit here typing on my MacBook, with my Iphone at my side, drinking hot tea with a lamp and roofed house, I can't help but wonder about those without these things. This morning as I read through Mulitply, I learned about the Holiness of God, and how his covenant with Moses was different than that of Abraham's in that it had conditions for the people to follow. As I went online to watch David Platt and Francis Chan discuss this morning's section, it led me to a blog they have been posted in while spreading the Gospel in one of the most poor, spiritually deprived countries - North and South Korea. They sat there and talked about how overwhelmed with heartbreak they were over the people on the other side of the war-ridden border of North Korea. I couldn't help but think of the Body of Christ. In 1st Corinthians 12:26 it says, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." Today my heart is heavy for those in unreached people groups who have never heard the gospel, and for those who are spreading the Gospel where it is hard, difficult and scary. I don't truly know what it means to be persecuted for the Gospel when I am sitting in my church, or in Wesley, or with my "Christian" family. We have the luxury to throw around phrases like "Praise the Lord!" "Thank you, Jesus!" even church! This morning I just began to pray that the Lord would break my heart for those people and that I can be fervently praying for the work missionaries are doing all over the world, and for those who are captive; that the Lord would free them not only from their earthly imprisonment, but would be set free by the Truth of Jesus and his work on the cross. Platt said today that if he were in a situation where he was captive or persecuted, he said he would hope that there would be people praying for and crying out to God that He would rescue them from their slavery. I just want that to become an everyday part of our prayer life. That our hearts would cry out for God to rescue those who are in bondage to sin. I think of Melissa, who has been struggling spiritually, and Satan has been tugging at her conscious and just that the Lord would protect her and keep her strong. That she would know we are so proud of her obedience to what the Lord has called her to do, and know that she is fully equipped to carry out every good work of his. I just pray for the people she interacts with everyday and that they would see the power of the Spirit in her and that He would work through their hearts as well.
Oddly enough, tonight was also "Missions Night" at AWANA. When we walked into the Warehouse tonight, on the screen was Cliff and Rebekah Barnette! Talk about being persecuted for the Gospel, and no freedom of speech. When Cliff started talking, He kept saying "The Father, and used JC" and "The Fellowship" They had to speak in code because the government has tapped into every aspect of their lives and they could be imprisoned, asked to leave the country or killed for saying anything that was against government views. Even in emails that they send back and forth to family members in GA, they have to code everything. It just brought me to tears! Just to see how powerful the Lord is in convicting his people to put them in situations like that and the strength he gives us to persevere. They have been there for 8 months and are currently taking lessons at a University there to learn the language. They will be there for another 2 years! It's just so wonderful and to God be all the Glory! When I think about these people in these opposite cultures of our own, and how fortunate I am, I just want to fall to my knees and praise the God for their obedience and understanding of Him!
In the past month the Lord has just showed me show much of my own heart and consequently his! After Rachel started dating Kevin, I would get ill over them talking all of the time, and was so protective and worried about the suture standing of our relationship and how he was going to take over. In the past I have just prayed that whoever got into a relationship first, that it would happen at the same time! Funny how God has a different plan than we have for ourselves because I couldn't be farther from having a relationship now. The Lord just began to reveal to me the idols I had in my life over him and being in a relationship was one of them! Not to mention Rachel and I's relationship and my Dad's! I grew envious of Rachel's relationship and longed to be loved in the way that Kevin loves her. He wrote her a poem, sends her letters, bought her a Bible! Everything he writes talks about how his only desire is to grow closer to the Creator. It's just perfect. And while I am head over heels for Rachel, I just found myself pushing back from her, and bringing myself down telling myself no one would ever love me in that way, and I would be single and date-less for the rest of my life. The Lord revealed to my heart this summer that I need to be wholly satisfied in Him and once we are "fully satisfied in him, He is most glorified in us" (Piper). Not that in being obedient to this, a husband would come, but that with Jesus, that's all I need. Understanding my sinful nature, and the punishment that I deserve, Jesus took. This should be enough. Through that I can communicate with a Holy God and my only desire would be to serve Him and glorify Him through my actions and telling others.
I also got yet another Parking Ticket today. Fun. I now have over $250 in parking tickets to pay and currently have $400 dollars to my name.
This past season has been one of testing my faith and realizing what I was truly putting it in. Was I putting faith in God because he was going to keep me at Georgia and grant my residency. Did I just like the idea of going to heaven or was I in love with a good, just, holy, merciful, patient, loving, angry, jealous God? As a new season begins of investigating this faith I so devoutly believe and learning more about my creator, I pray that I have a repentant heart, that I can learn to hate my sin; that I will glorify God in all I do; my faith would be founded on his character not his benefits; that I would be a bright light and salty salt to the world, not relying on my own power, but the power that comes from the Holy Spirit who lives in me; that I would fall so in love with The Word and it's power; that my prayer life would include a hatred for my sin, a reverence for the Holy God who gives me a relationship with him; wisdom about his Word and truth from it; a confidence in that knowledge; that I would daily beg and plead for His mercy and grace and never take it for granted.
As I prepare for major changes coming up in my life these next two years that are going to rock my world, that my faith would not be rocked. I could trust in the work on the cross and realize that is all I need and whatever I do, whoever I live with, wherever I live, I am doing it for His glory and His Fame, not my own. And that I can trust whatever that looks like, it is good because it is His, just as I am His - forever.
