just STAND.
Yes, I am blogging from my bathtub tonight. I have always wanted to do numerous things in my bathtub; read, sleep, be on the computer, take a bath. Ya see, since we moved into our house 6 years ago, I never had my own bathroom with my own bathtub, so these tasks become even more exciting to do, because of the anticipation of finishing my bathroom.
The second part....well people are bitches. 'Nough said. The worst part about other people being bitches, is that because of them, you become one too.
Tonight, my mother and I went to go see the new movie "Something Borrowed." It was good, I hated the ending, but otherwise a decent movie. It is about these two best friends, who have been inseperable since the beginning of time. One, went to law school, and got her degree, and is very intelligent, while the other partied it up after college, and really went no where. However, while in law school, Rachel met Dexter. They were study buds, and really hit it off. Well one night, Darcy, the other best friend, came to join them for dinner. Darcy is this hot, obnoxious blonde, who alsways took everything from Rachel and thought that she deserved everything. Rachel was always there for Darcy and loved her, but for some odd reason, Rachel always let Darcy take advantage of her. So, Dexter, the man that Rachel is in love with, is getting married to Dexter. One night, Dexter and Rachel meet up, and Rachel confesses her crush on Dexter, and from there they start sleeping together behind Darcy's back, and are basically having an affair. The reason why Rachel never told Dexter about her crush, was because she didn't think a guy like Dexter would ever go for her. I felt a real connection with the story, and particularly Rachel. I never want to do what I want, or never feel like I deserve anything, becasue I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I always don't say or do things my way, beacause I take the other person's feelings into account. Now, if I put myself in their shoes, would they do something like that for me? HELL NO. Now, I do not believe this is a tit for tat world, but I do need to be confident in the things I earn, and I need to know that I deserve it no matter what other people think.
Sometimes I feel like I do not deserve certain boys as my boyfriend, or to flirt with them, because they would never like a girl like me, or I am too fat, or ugly. I need to just be myself, and not try, but it will happen. It just drives me so crazy that attraction is everything. BECAUSE IT ISN'T! I wish everyone could walk around with a paper sack on top of them, and we based our attration off of morals, and personality as opposed to looks. It makes me really sad.
I am Rachel. and I have a Darcy in my life. I cannot wait until the day I stand up for myself, and do what I want, and be how I want to be. I will show her that I do deserve a loving guy, and all the awards I have EARNED.
Lesson of the night: Stand up for what you believe in, do what you want to do. Don't let your empathy toward other people keep you froom doing that either. FInd friends and people in your life that will support and encourage you.
Goodnight, Y'all.
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